ISSUES TRYING TO BE MYSELF

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 When one advises you to be yourself , it might be easy for you or most people but to me it’s kinda difficult. Most thought that run through my mind when I try to is “What if they don’t like who I am?” “What if they hate the real me?” “What if I say this and everyone criticizes me or everyone ignores me like I am a piece of garbage?” 

Well if there is one thing I have learnt from this life, it’s that no body has the time to start studying you or filtering all your words. Everyone has their own life to live and problems to think about. It’s normal to be self conscious. I am  sooo self conscious. I tend to filter off a lot about me which ends up me showing just 3% of myself to people and the remaining 97% to my family and myself when I am alone. This can be really disturbing and it could give you this thought that no one likes you or you’re just not deserved by anyone. 

The truth of this matter is, people like you no matter who you are and if they care they will try to help you out with your flaws. It’s totally normal to try and be the nice one but who are you really? Are you making that decision cause you want people to see you as strong or you know who you really are and you want to stand for the truth. Some people are super emotional but will hide it because they don’t wanna look weak in front of people. It’s very good to control your emotion. It’s makes you more disciplined but it’s pretty bad to suppress it and not let it flow when it needs to. It will be really mean to attend someone’s burial and show no sign of pity or concern for the family because you wanna be strong or look emotionless. What you care about is standing at the corner and using your social media account. In your heart, you feel terrible, you wanna comfort them, you want to embrace them and show your support but in your mind it will seem weak and you just don’t want to be weak. This is how you hide your true self and live a false life and no one wants that. 


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