REASONS WHY YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY TRAUMATIZED

 In one of my previous posts, I wrote an article on hidden signs which you may not be aware of that shows you are really emotionally drained. The signs were supposed to be focused on the common ways we feel everyday or in every occasion which we think is normal but it isn't. The post did very well to my delight. Knowing the reasons why you are emotionally drained in the first place is very important because to be frank some of the reasons aren't something we have control over. Some could be due to a childhood trauma, another could be due to the type of people we hang out with. 

Here are common surprising reasons why you could be emotionally traumatized.

1) YOU HAD A REALLY TRAUMATIZING CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE: Any experience that alters the normal childhood experiences especially if negative could be traumatizing. We have no control over how we were raised or who raised us. We have no control over our experiences. We get to realize the mistakes we have made or realize what we could have done when we become matured enough. Our childhood experiences unfortunately isn't within our control. It's more like everything just happens the way it ought to. As we mature, this experiences haunt us psychologically and we tend to feel devastated about it most especially if we can't move on easily from it. Some of the causes of this kind of trauma could be the parents being abusive with their children or verbally abusing them and impacting so many negative thoughts in their minds. Another could be from a rape experience or being bullied. Sometimes when you hang around friends as a child who wouldn't accept you for who you are and attempt to make fun of you for being different, it can really make you feel bad about yourself. There is this saying that goes as thus: "If a young elephant has been caged when young, the elephant grows up big enough to leave its tiny cage but unfortunately it won't because its mind has already been conditioned to the fact that it is caged and cannot go anywhere". This mentality is exactly what's troubling youths these days. They aren't focused on the possibilities of this life, they forget they aren't with the friends who made them feel bad and aren't staying with their parents who abused them as a child. It's difficult for such experiences to leave their memory no matter how hard they try. They are like this elephant that finds it difficult to step out of its cage even when it can. 

2) YOU ARE KEEPING THE WRONG FRIENDS: As I said in my previous post on this, friends are one of the top common reasons why people get emotionally traumatized. Imagine having a fleet of friends but none even values you or checks up on you when you are down or even ask after you after 2 months of not seeing each other. I know everyone has their own lives and no one has time for the other but there are still some certain friends in this world who will take their time to check up on you ones in a while even if it has to be 1 minute call. Some people out there just need their voices to be heard, they just require someone to hear them out but unfortunately no one cares. This depressed individual is left with his thoughts. This could lead to suicide and definitely, no one wants any close friend to face this fate. Normally I will advise you to stop depending your happiness on friends and just be your own best friend. Love yourself, comfort yourself, make yourself very happy. Do not rely your happiness on anyone or think of why others shunned you. Some day, you will meet the right people who will not judge you for you or shun you. Meanwhile learn how to understand yourself and love yourself. 

3) YOU ALWAYS DOUBT YOURSELF/ YOU HAVE A VERY LOW SELF ESTEEM: Another reason why you might be emotionally drained or can get emotionally drained is if you keep having negative thoughts about yourself. The more you use the statements "I can't", "I should", "Tomorrow", "Later", the more you procastinate what you could do to make yourself improve mentally and psychologically. When you doubt yourself all the time and don't do what you ought to do, you convince yourself you aren't good a enough and hurt your self esteem. Your brain begins to condition itself in believing that you aren't good a enough. This makes you always doubt yourself and not even try to improve this aspect of yours. I know we cannot learn how to do everything but why don't you try to focus what you love doing and improve well in it? If you love playing lawn tennis, just play it. Do not say "I am slim or I have no jersey or I am not beautiful a enough to show myself in the tournament or I am a slow learner..." All of that is in your head ma'am. Everything is in your head. No one is looking at your figure. Even if they are, who cares! You are the queen. Beat that ego and break your boundaries. Show them how hot you are in tennis and lit the court on fire (please don't). 

4) YOU ARE LAZY: As a lazy person, you want everything to be given to you free without you putting effort. You want everything to work smoothly without you having any hand in it. If things don't work according to your plan, you look at the mirror and call life unfair, you call your friends unfair and also call your carpenter unfair for not repairing your broken sofas for the past six weeks (Perhaps you never paid). You begin to think everyone hates you. Please snap off this, I know I wrote earlier that friends should be there for each other and all but please... no friend is ready to carry anyone's problem on their head. They can try to encourage you and advise you but if you refuse to listen then they will leave you to your mess unfortunately. There is nothing they can do to help you anymore. Your roof leaks, your bills are due, your landlord wants to kick you out, you stay at home the whole day watching the wall and you complain your life is a mess, that you're gonna die. Do not maintain this kind of thinking I beg of you. You are better than this. Snap out of this world of your comfort zone and join in the hustle. I promise, it pays better than not even exercising yourself. 

5) YOUR RELATIONSHIPS NEVER WORK OUT/ YOU ARE TIRED OF BEING SINGLE: When you look on your social media page you find your friends flaunting their boyfriend's picture or showing their engagement ring, you feel terrible and recall your last breakup or when last you had a relationship. You begin to doubt your self esteem and feel you aren't beautiful enough or taking care of yourself enough. This feeling is normal and everyone goes through this at a point. It gets out of hand if you begin to overthink this and start to traumatize yourself. First, it isn't everything on social media that's real. Everything isn't as beautiful as it seems. They might be happy today with their relationship but no one knows what could happen tomorrow. No one can predict anything. Be happy with your life, work on yourself and just be yourself. If no partner comes then it's fine. You do not need them to be happy. There are so many celibates out there who are really happy with their single lives. Some end up getting married later on. No one knows when your future love will arrive or how it will arrive. No one knows when the chemistry will click or when a guy or lady will agree to be with you but what matters is that you never doubt yourself and let anyone pollute your mind on how fortunate you are. I believe in you. You deserve to be happy, with a partner or not. 

6) YOU MAKE GOOGLE YOUR BEST FRIEND AND SPEND SO MUCH TIME ONLINE: Yeah. I am guilty of this too and I assure you, I have learnt so much just reading through articles on Google. You know what I have learnt, do not believe everything you read or see online. Infact I will put it this way, do not let google decide your fate in this life. You might go online to search on why your boyfriend doesn't love you anymore and tumble on thousand of articles that give their own personal opinion on what they think could be the reason but to be frank are they your partner? You might end up believing whatever was said especially if whatever was said isn't even close to what the reality is. You get really hurt by it and judge your partner by this. You conclude that this person doesn't love you and begin to hurt yourself emotionally. Dear, google is there to give you answers to whatever questions you have (Even if it's how can I pee?) but it does not exactly know the thought of anyone. You might be mistaken on the thought that this guy doesn't love you. Perhaps he does but is facing personal situation which google will never know. Why don't you just speak to him about it and ask for what the issue is? Why google? Aside google though, other social media accounts and articles can mislead you mentally and fill you with unrealistic expectations. An article might write against love and another might agree with the concept of love. An article might write against sex and others might agree with the concept of sex. Some might even write that sex doesn't exist. Which should we believe? Please, decide for yourself what you want and do not depend on articles online. If possible, try to make research but be logical about what you believe or feed to your brain. Not everything is true 

I hope you found this post helpful. Do not forget to share with friends.